The Empowered Wife: Six Surprising Secrets for Attracting Your Husband's Time, Attention, and Affection
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This is the difference: Doing something pleasurable means it feels good in the moment you’re doing it, not afterward. Some activities may be both. For me, volleyball on the beach is both super fun while I’m doing it a nd makes me feel healthy and strong after I’ve stopped sweating and breathing heavily. I happen to get health advantages from that particular pleasure, but many things on my list have no such fringe benefits and are only beneficial because they ma k e me happy in the moment. Talking to my sisters on the phone, for instance, or singing in harmony, getting a facial, listening to my favorite radio show, lazing on the couch and watching a movie, or having coffee with a girlfriend. None of those things improve my aerobic capacity, help prevent diabe- tes, reduce greenhouse emissions, or declutter my house. They simply give me pleasure, which puts me in a good mood. That’s reason enough for me to make sure that I spend time doing those things—three of them, at least—every day. My wife said that her anger and resentment towards me pushed her towards another man. She had an affair. As we grew more distant, eventually I myself had an affair.
I am truly trying g to find happiness within myself, but I long to end the loneliness in my marriage of 33 years. My husband has had trouble holding down a job but has also been hired at higher level jobs. We moved 320 miles away from our family system so he could take a job that was not sales and traveling. During 33 years he has had 13 jobs. I have had 4. So, I realize that he has issues with confidence and maybe guilt from losing the job that we moved for. But I supported him thru everything. 6 years ago he lost his last job. He has always drank…things got worse. I go to work and rush home to cook dinner to sober him up. During the last 6 years in his drunken state every day he has been mentally abusive and cruel to me and our then teenage children. I basically go to work to escape…yet he accuses me of choosing work over him..guilting me. 2 months ago I wrote him a letter telling hi. What I was feeling and s what I eI had no idea it was a matter of expertise, like everything else, and that there were Six Intimacy Skills that would not only help me feel lovable and loved every single day, but would also make me more attractive. How great that even after everything has changed, you’re ready for more. I admire your commitment and your new desire for a happy MARRIAGE! Intimacy skills focus strictly on you. They empower you to transform your relationship by focusing on what you want and expressing it without complaining or blaming. Your desires become a map for where the relationship is going. Once you know what you want and are not afraid to say it—watch out! Feminine desire is a powerful force in the world.
I have read The Surrendered Wife and The Empowered Wife, both by Laura Doyle, and am seriously considering following the suggestions she makes because I am frankly very nearly at the end of my rope with my husband. Plus, my guest Erin’s marriage was doing okay, so she was blindsided when her husband announced that he was moving out. There was another woman. But in just a few months of using the 6 Intimacy Skills™ and the Connection Framework, miracles happened in her marriage. Wait until you hear what she did! I think you’re going to want to do it too. I’m not talking about 5 fruits and veggies a day, and 30 minutes of cardio, and 8 hours of sleep. Unless those make you so happy you can’t wipe the silly grin off your face. This will make you as attractive as a supermodelI told him because I was excited to mention the trip and I also thanked him for contributing so much to my happiness. He commented that the trip sounds great, but didn’t mention my comment, which was “I re-found* myself on my own, but I want to thank you for all you do that contributes to this happiness.” (*note to laura–I broke off my engagement 2 years ago when I realized it wasn’t the right thing at the time).